Last night I think I had the quickest relationship I've ever had. Not a one night stand; a relationship with a beginning, middle, and end.

It was bizarre. And hilarious

Act I

The plan was to meet up with "Betty Crocker(BC)" (for a 'non-date' as she jokingly called it) at her very stylish downtown apartment to learn how to make one of the only desserts I eat, a fruit tart. I met BC a couple of times before when out with a mutual friend but we were far from friends. In fact this was the first time I had ever spent any one on one time with her. She's a trained pastry chef, twenty five, newly divorced, a bit anal retentive, cute, talks nonstop, and has more rules than the bible so of course this night was shaping up to be a hoot.

So I watched and assisted the tart making. She cut the fruit, I laid it out(see photo). She ordered pizza and we ate and talked and watched Woody Allen's Mighty Aphrodite in bed and played footsies. As she put it, "the best non-date I've ever been on"

Act II

So as things go in these cases, one thing led to another and we end up making out like two teenagers on prom night. I'm enjoying it, she's enjoying it, everything's cool. She's not the best kisser in the world but who am I to complain. So it gets to that point where there's decisions to be made. You know, whether its going to get to the next stage or not.

She chuckles and light heartedly says "let's keep this PG-13".

I jokingly reply, "PG-13's got nudity in it right?".

BC says that she doesn't want to 'cheapen' this relationship by sleeping with me and that if we do go through with it then we will never see each other again. I tell her if that's the way she feels then I'm cool with that and we can just be friends. Plus, we kind of run in the same circles and I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable. She agreed.

Act III

We laid there for a bit afterwards. Me nodding off, her resting her head on my chest. I say, "so we're cool right? friends?". "yeah, we're cool".

"Still the best non-date you ever been on?"

"Yeah, I had a good time"

"Me too"

I'm feeling nice at this point. No weird questions in my head...no confusion, etc. She walks me to the car. There's that awkward moment of goodbye as she says...

"So, I won't be seeing you any more. Take care."

WTF??! I thought we just agreed to be friends and now you're 'breaking up' with me? haha. Talk about confused.

Then she says, "see, we should have just slept together".

HUH?! It was your idea to stop! Is this because I couldn't hang out with you this weekend? At this point I'm busting up inside thinking how crazy this chick is. Had I known the end result would have been same of course I would have made a different decision.

So it ended with a hug and I drove off into the night laughing all the way home.